Bring Your Problem To Aunt Rhoda

Chipo's Dilemma
 

My fiance and I have been together for almost three years and during that time we have constantly endured the problem of me talking to another guy. I feel like there always has to be someone waiting, just in case this relationship doesn't work out. I love my fiance and I don't mean for him to feel like this. We have our wedding coming in May and our families clash because we come from two different ways of life. Money is also a big issue with us because his job security hasn't always been stable. Aunt, I love him. I feel so lost in all this, like I'm being torn in a million different directions and don't know what to do. I would like your advice. I know I need to fix my problem but it goes a lot deeper than what I've written.

Aunt Rhoda's Advice:

Marrying the guy isn't going to make those problems go away. You are hoping that sacred vow, that commitment is going to fix everything...but it won't. I would suggest you do the heavy lifting and hard work now; cancel the wedding and plan for a healthier future so you don't have a stack of divorce papers in your file cabinet like I do. Don't worry about the family clashing, don't worry about what people will say or the deposits you will lose. Do not make a sacred covenant when you have all these issues to deal with first. That's the advice I wish I had taken at your age. vatete@zimnetradio.com

 

Comments

I am speechless. This is a

I am speechless. This is a fantastic site and very engaging too. Excellent work! That’s not really much coming from an amateur publisher like me, but it’s all I could think after enjoying your posts. Not like other site. You really know what you’re talking about too. So much that you made me want to explore more. Your blog has become a stepping stone for me, my friend. Thanks for the detailed journey. I really enjoyed the posts that I have read so far

Really nice post.. very

Really nice post.. very helpfull for us....really i got very usefull information from here.

Getrude's Dilemma

 

I am an almost 40-year-old single mom of two beautiful girls, ages 4 and 19. I have never been married. Just when I was getting used to the idea of being forever single, I met this wonderful man from my birth country Zimbabwe, John, about a month ago. He is everything I have ever wanted and he treats my daughter very well. We fell for each other hard and fast. This morning he got a call from his older, best friend ( who helped him get settled when he came to the United Kingdom), This friend asked John to move in with him and his wife ( both caucasian ) to be their caregiver, as they don't want to go to a nursing home. John is the only person he trusts and wants him to live with them until the older gentleman passes away. I know my boyfriend has a HUGE heart and that it would be hard for him to say no to his friend. But what about me and my 4 year old? After everything John said to me, how can he even be considering this? He asks me why the men in my past would leave me; but now he's going to leave me too. I don't want to be selfish and tell him what to do. Do I ask him to stay and go against his friend's wishes?

Aunt Rhoda's Advice:

You've been together about a month. That's give or take four weeks. So this isn't a long-term relationship where this man has been committed to you and your daughter. This is a new infatuation and surge of emotions. If he is the man who is going to be with you, then he will want to be with you. You will not have to ask him to stay. He will decide on his own that you are the person he wants a future with. You won't have to convince him to stay and be a part of this thing that has started. If he chooses not to do that, it's not because of you honey. It's not because you're not worth it. It's because it was not right. Or, if the elderly couple lives close by, maybe he can stay with them, care for them and still be involved with you. Either way, you and your daughter are precious and worthy of love. If this is not the man God intends you to be with, then the right one is waiting.

vatete@zimnetradio.com

good advice

i like your advice tete hamurove imbwa makaviga mupinyi. Nepo nepo asi uyu musikana uyu ngaamboita ma communications ne fiancee yake coz anoirasa akawira takatarisa mugomba, kuzobuda kwacho manje ibasa. Because it is hard dealing with a boyfriend who is insecure. saka where is the trust?

Kudakwashe's Dilemma

 
Kudakwashe's Dilemma

I've been married for 21 years in a mostly loveless marriage. My wife is a bully.She bullies me and takes advantage of my gentleman like attitude and she is always bullying other people when she calls Chakafukidza . She is loud and abnoxious. My daughter will soon turn 18 and venture off to college next year. I'm very much in love with a woman I consider my soul mate. We've known each other over 40 years, but we've always had bad timing. When I'm married she's single and vice versa. I nearly ended my marriage 13 years ago but thought it better to stick it out for the sake of our daughter. Should I end my marriage now and get on with my life or should I wait four more years until my daughter finishes college?

Aunt Rhoda's Advice:

You are living a lie Kudakwashe.You almost sound like Prince Charles and Camilla. You are pretending to be half of a couple with someone you don't love. According to your letter you don't even like her, nor does she like you it sounds like. God gives us only one life and I think it's a complete waste to spend it year after year, day after day living a lie.Your name is Kudakwashe, so why can't you just do kuda kwa She like your name and be real. Be honest with yourself, your wife, and your daughter and get out of this sham of a marriage and stop wasting time. vatete@zimnetradio.com

aaah

For sure 21 years of loveless marriage hapachina chembwa tenzi vararira mutakura. Life is too short to linger in a dead, loveless relationship.

Programs

As long as you are not in Zimbabwe you are in Diaspora, interesting to note that somehow in such a lifestyle; we have experienced or are still experiencing a cultural shock. Some things we just can’t get used to, right?

An Artist or Aspiring Artist- This is your platform, Let us jig with It !!

 The name of the show came out from the name HitsMalia. Bringing the latest Hits from across the globe. With an opportunity to connect with loved ones from the mother-land. Just email a telephone number of a family member with a short greetings message and a call will be made while you are tuned in.

 

This is a show which was designed driven by the people to bring back memories of our yester year zimdays musically and each week the show airs on saturday between the hours of 11:00pm - 2:00am GMT.

Stories are shared ,music(very old school) is played and phone lines are open for all who are not shy or embarrased to share their past lives.When in the mood the dj plays a few tracks for today's youths as he believes music builds bridges between generations.So sit  back,listen and let DJ.Ranx  take you on a journey you will never forget.

LETS MAKE A DATE

Welcome to your one stop musical and interaction  programme, your views , your requests , Gospel, mbende,muchongoyo,mbakumba, jiti, mbira, world  hits, golden oldies/ old school  Zim , Africa  and across the world. JUMP ON  WE ABOUT TO CRUISE  !!!!!!!!!   AAAAA  UNOSARA  SAHWIRA  !!!!!!!!   LOOOOL.

The Programme kicks off by taking you back to the roots. Zimbabwean music and its role in our lives as a  people. How it impacts in our societies and its role in our beliefs and values. In this programme will have a chance to phone in and air your views about   any  topic on the table. You can also propose a topic of discussion.